hm. am i thinkin of her too much?

have been told that the whole husband n wife thing... and me calling her wifey kinda freaked her out?

did she lose trust in me because she had thought i went for doris because i couldnt have her as a gf?

i knew the husband n wife thing was temp cuz it was all a thing we decided to do due to our hunger for food... and wanted to go to brazilian... so we did the whole anniversary thing... and i guess it was kinda my fault to continue callin her that afterwards.. but eh...

yah i admit i had liked doris due to some similarities but i never had really went for it. always had joked about it a lot of whatever but i knew it wouldnt work. it was such a temp thing that i didnt think it would have affected that much?

=3 iunoe.. ive tried quite hard goin after chau but still hasnt seem to work out.. thought it would have been a little better after the so-called anniversary dinner but things seemed to have went downhill since then.. first the encounter with her grandmother... iunoe what made me so nervous that nothing had came out of my mouth... to the not translating the thing me and dofu had said on FB.... it went really downhill... iunoe if u are busy or its because i went out of town or whatever.. its like we had lost contact for like 2 weeks or so.. =[ i really wanted to tell u what we talked about but doing it would only make u feel bad and sad...

GAH IUNOE WHAT TO DOOOOOOOOOOOOOO T_T this entire trip, ive been tryin to find something for u but had no such luck in doing so.

should i give up? i know u dont want a relationship... u probably never had any feelings other than a friend towards me.. why am i still trying? =[ IUNOEEEE

I miss her. Having a lot of dreams about her lately.. She hasn't been taking to me either.. Hope she's not mad at me for the other or for messing up in front of her grandma.. Things to have seemed to went down hill since then...

Wonder what she did last night.. She usually doesn't get to stay out that late..

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just read her recent blog... now makes me feel even worse =.= not many gets to meet her grandma... then when i did, i screw up :( i dont care if her grandma is mean or not really accepting or anything... i dont mind either way... but hey, as dofu said, its not like im her bf or anything... why am i thinkin about it so much? maybe feelings had grew more than i had expected :'[

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was super sad yesterday cuz of the funeral. i tried so hard to not cry.. didnt want my grandma to see me like this =3 so i had like a river forming the entire time.... D: that was hard to hold >< thankfully dofu was able to come out last night after work with toshimi. was a fun time. im not sure if they had a fun time but considering the fact of the earlier on the day, it was a definitely change of events for me... it really cheered me up.. i love seeing dofu xD never a sad moment with her =3 LOL finally was able to get her the tofu shes been waiting for me to get her for so long... and the crepe i promised her too xD so i guess it was a good night for her too? iunoe xD i kept falling asleep in the car while toshimi was driving cuz they kept talkin to each other and i was quite tired to begin with due to the continuous preparations the past few days... o well