hm. am i thinkin of her too much?
have been told that the whole husband n wife thing... and me calling her wifey kinda freaked her out?
did she lose trust in me because she had thought i went for doris because i couldnt have her as a gf?
i knew the husband n wife thing was temp cuz it was all a thing we decided to do due to our hunger for food... and wanted to go to brazilian... so we did the whole anniversary thing... and i guess it was kinda my fault to continue callin her that afterwards.. but eh...
yah i admit i had liked doris due to some similarities but i never had really went for it. always had joked about it a lot of whatever but i knew it wouldnt work. it was such a temp thing that i didnt think it would have affected that much?
=3 iunoe.. ive tried quite hard goin after chau but still hasnt seem to work out.. thought it would have been a little better after the so-called anniversary dinner but things seemed to have went downhill since then.. first the encounter with her grandmother... iunoe what made me so nervous that nothing had came out of my mouth... to the not translating the thing me and dofu had said on FB.... it went really downhill... iunoe if u are busy or its because i went out of town or whatever.. its like we had lost contact for like 2 weeks or so.. =[ i really wanted to tell u what we talked about but doing it would only make u feel bad and sad...
GAH IUNOE WHAT TO DOOOOOOOOOOOOOO T_T this entire trip, ive been tryin to find something for u but had no such luck in doing so.
should i give up? i know u dont want a relationship... u probably never had any feelings other than a friend towards me.. why am i still trying? =[ IUNOEEEE
Saturday, June 25, 2011
I miss her. Having a lot of dreams about her lately.. She hasn't been taking to me either.. Hope she's not mad at me for the other or for messing up in front of her grandma.. Things to have seemed to went down hill since then...
Wonder what she did last night.. She usually doesn't get to stay out that late..
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just read her recent blog... now makes me feel even worse =.= not many gets to meet her grandma... then when i did, i screw up :( i dont care if her grandma is mean or not really accepting or anything... i dont mind either way... but hey, as dofu said, its not like im her bf or anything... why am i thinkin about it so much? maybe feelings had grew more than i had expected :'[
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was super sad yesterday cuz of the funeral. i tried so hard to not cry.. didnt want my grandma to see me like this =3 so i had like a river forming the entire time.... D: that was hard to hold >< thankfully dofu was able to come out last night after work with toshimi. was a fun time. im not sure if they had a fun time but considering the fact of the earlier on the day, it was a definitely change of events for me... it really cheered me up.. i love seeing dofu xD never a sad moment with her =3 LOL finally was able to get her the tofu shes been waiting for me to get her for so long... and the crepe i promised her too xD so i guess it was a good night for her too? iunoe xD i kept falling asleep in the car while toshimi was driving cuz they kept talkin to each other and i was quite tired to begin with due to the continuous preparations the past few days... o well
Wonder what she did last night.. She usually doesn't get to stay out that late..
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just read her recent blog... now makes me feel even worse =.= not many gets to meet her grandma... then when i did, i screw up :( i dont care if her grandma is mean or not really accepting or anything... i dont mind either way... but hey, as dofu said, its not like im her bf or anything... why am i thinkin about it so much? maybe feelings had grew more than i had expected :'[
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was super sad yesterday cuz of the funeral. i tried so hard to not cry.. didnt want my grandma to see me like this =3 so i had like a river forming the entire time.... D: that was hard to hold >< thankfully dofu was able to come out last night after work with toshimi. was a fun time. im not sure if they had a fun time but considering the fact of the earlier on the day, it was a definitely change of events for me... it really cheered me up.. i love seeing dofu xD never a sad moment with her =3 LOL finally was able to get her the tofu shes been waiting for me to get her for so long... and the crepe i promised her too xD so i guess it was a good night for her too? iunoe xD i kept falling asleep in the car while toshimi was driving cuz they kept talkin to each other and i was quite tired to begin with due to the continuous preparations the past few days... o well
Thursday, May 19, 2011
why is she so hard to impress or make happy :( i just wanted to surprise her with her favorite cupcake and a mini panda squishable.. but she just squashed the plan :( son of a bitch *sigh* i had thought there might have been a glimmer of hope that it might work out... but i dont even see that glimmer anymore... man how things can change within a few days ... wish its easier to tell u things more directly :( i know u know i like u already but bleh :( im sad now... but listenin to Joey has helped a bit...
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on the side note, dofu is coming in less than 11 hours... iunoe if i should be happy or not.. :( originally she said she was coming for my graduation... then it got delayed a week.. then it pretty just evolved to nothin to do with me. =3 guess work will start earlier than i had thought.. was gonna wait until her visit and after rachel's goodbye party but bleh -.-" nothing ever goes the way you hope it to...
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on the side note, dofu is coming in less than 11 hours... iunoe if i should be happy or not.. :( originally she said she was coming for my graduation... then it got delayed a week.. then it pretty just evolved to nothin to do with me. =3 guess work will start earlier than i had thought.. was gonna wait until her visit and after rachel's goodbye party but bleh -.-" nothing ever goes the way you hope it to...
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Saturday, May 7, 2011
so last nights dream... ok there was a weird one... where i was in this like huge castle or something and someone told me to go out the window on a ledge to look at something... then he told me to turn around and look down... THAT WAS HELLA SCARY X_X
ok next dream... i think chau and i were shopping at a mall? in the dream, seemed we were quite a bit closer than it is real life... then somehow we ended up walking "towards planet hollywood"?? but for some reason we walked for a long time and didnt see it?? then vi joined us... then heres when it got weird. we were walkin and i saw george on like the otehr side of the roadd... then like 5 min later. he'd end up near us x_X then he'd randomly joined us when we were at some uhh ad thing on the street that was touch screen interactive.. and some how chau got it to show some random pictures she took of us during the day??? LOLOL iunooeee i was confused in the dream too lmao... while we were look thru pictures.. george started talkin about things to me and chau.. i guess he at least talked to me in the dream? but for some reason i think he was ok with me and chau being "together..?".. then somehow the dream was night.. and we got to my car... we were gonna go eat or osmething and joe randomly appeared... i was like who invited him?? then george said something really weird.. think it was another of those gay jk jokes and vi said something that i think shed normally say.. then we got there.. some were there and ordered already... so got two tables.. i went to restroom to wash hands (which also was weird cuz there was a faucet right by a table of people so when u wash hands, the water goes all over the table and into their cups?? lolol but for some reason, it seemed normal to them?? lol but when i came back to our table.. everyone switched around.. everyone was on one table.. and chau was alone at the other.. i sat down.. and watched her eat cuz apparently mine didnt come yet? then i woke up x_X damn lol
SUCH A WEIRD DREAM ! yah totally just woke up and typed this LMAO SOOO WEIRD !!! at least the semi scary one at first was short.. the 2nd dream was much better even tho was weird too....
ok next dream... i think chau and i were shopping at a mall? in the dream, seemed we were quite a bit closer than it is real life... then somehow we ended up walking "towards planet hollywood"?? but for some reason we walked for a long time and didnt see it?? then vi joined us... then heres when it got weird. we were walkin and i saw george on like the otehr side of the roadd... then like 5 min later. he'd end up near us x_X then he'd randomly joined us when we were at some uhh ad thing on the street that was touch screen interactive.. and some how chau got it to show some random pictures she took of us during the day??? LOLOL iunooeee i was confused in the dream too lmao... while we were look thru pictures.. george started talkin about things to me and chau.. i guess he at least talked to me in the dream? but for some reason i think he was ok with me and chau being "together..?".. then somehow the dream was night.. and we got to my car... we were gonna go eat or osmething and joe randomly appeared... i was like who invited him?? then george said something really weird.. think it was another of those gay jk jokes and vi said something that i think shed normally say.. then we got there.. some were there and ordered already... so got two tables.. i went to restroom to wash hands (which also was weird cuz there was a faucet right by a table of people so when u wash hands, the water goes all over the table and into their cups?? lolol but for some reason, it seemed normal to them?? lol but when i came back to our table.. everyone switched around.. everyone was on one table.. and chau was alone at the other.. i sat down.. and watched her eat cuz apparently mine didnt come yet? then i woke up x_X damn lol
SUCH A WEIRD DREAM ! yah totally just woke up and typed this LMAO SOOO WEIRD !!! at least the semi scary one at first was short.. the 2nd dream was much better even tho was weird too....
Friday, May 6, 2011
since i cant manage to study at this time of day, ill update blog ! xDD
lets seeeeeeee i ended on tuesday... so wednesday ! uh. last evolution lecture of the semester. home. study for practical. nap. study some more. practical. chau left before i did. we went to dinner @ wendy's noodle cafe. we ordered uhh pan fried rice cake with egg... pork with century egg congee... chinese donut... lol why is it called chinese donut.. yao jah gwai.. uhm.. oh shanghai dumplings too but it wasnt that good.. three village is better.. we got these two "milkshakes" more like slush.. hers had honeydew melon and tapioca.. i had grass jelly and tapioca... we ordered this uhm.. durian pancake crepe dessert thing... it was a thin sweet wrap around whipped cream and mashed durian.. decent. lol like the one i had in Sai Kung in Hong Kong in 06. we messed around outside.. then went home... had dinner #2 lol :|
thursday... uh. class.. then in genetics.. ariel moved to the back cuz we wanted to know what was on the test.. he didnt say much but for some friggin reason, he kept lookin back... we couldnt leave quick lol... she left maybe 20-25 minutes into class.. i left maybe 5 min after she did.. made a ninja escape.. but the loudest door bang LMAO oops.... met up with rachel at the library then we went lunch at jugoo again... OUR last time there :( awkward lunch... family style again but george went this time... wonder what was goin thru his mind... up until now, ive been avoiding goin to things like eating with him there... to avoid the awkwardness but i guess he... said he wanted go this time? cuz he asked julie.. then julie asked me if i was ok.. i was like.. if hes ok then im ok? but yah.. ate lunch.. class.. OH OH OH near end of class.. someones phone rang.. we thought Nika didnt hear it then a few seconds later hes like.. wait there was a phone ringing.. who was it.. gimme ! *walks over to other side of room like a hurricane* lmao looked at the phone and it said "Dr. Nika's Wife" LMAO !! ! ! ! ahahaha nice prank at the end.. but he knew it wasnt cuz apparently it showed a 702 number.. should have made a google voice and "Called" from texas.. xD then class at csn.. home.. study...
today.. uhm.. lunch with mentor and one of her clients.. didnt talk about me at all almost... maybe.. 2-3 minutes.. lol.. i decided to pay as a thank you for her being my mentor for 2 months.. she was like HUH WHY YOU PAY?!? =P she was a great mentor... i thank her from the bottom of my heart for helping me in a lot of ways... then had class.. then home...
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i want steak n eggs :( havent had it in a long time... i asked rachel last night but she didnt feel like eating steak n eggs and wanted to catch up on sleep.. of course being me.. i wouldnt get in the way of a girl getting her sleep.. dont want them lookin like a panda like me xD
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forgot who i was talkin to the other day... might have been vi... forgot what we were talkin about initially but got to a part where i was tellin her she was one of the prettiest girls i know.. along with vanessa.. dofu.. ariel.. rachel... if i had to rate them #1 to #5... hmm.. it would be... Ariel Dofu Rachel Vi Vanessa. i dont think ive ever really told any of the 5 except for Vi that night about my opinion on them..
Ariel - one of the or is the most pretty girl i know... beautiful eyes and smile... i still remember being at her debut when she turned 18... she was sooo pretty.. in her gorgeous green dress (her fav color).. if i had randomly walked in to the event, i would have thought this was a wedding, not a birthday lmao. that dress was reallly pretty... wonder if she still has that panda i got her.. and the bouquet i made her..
Dofu - i havent known her too long... yah we've talked online for quite a long time.. but we didnt actually see each other for the first time until her ... 22? birthday 2 years ago.. around that time i had already thought she was a cutie but when she came back in december... then january... oh my ... =3 that beautiful flowing hair.. that... doesnt need much if any fixing when she wakes up (so lucky) BIG ! eyes... pretttttyyy smile.. i still owe this one a tofu.. oh speaking of dofu.. the other day i was talkin to a friend in cali.. he said a line that omg... it was in chinese.. but it ended in dofu... he told me the meaning of it.. omfg... =.= totally not going to tell anyone about it ><
Rachel - i always knew she was pretty but never really paid much attention to her? cuz shes a few years older than me and was a previous member of CKI? before i joined so i didnt get to see her much except like big banquets or once in a while some event or meeting.. but lately... since this semester.. we've been talkin and hanging out a lot with eachother.. saw her more... DEFINITELY one of the prettiest girls i know =P dont use much make up either.. cute drunk too xD leaning tower of rachel ahahah and master of street fighter 4 button mashing =P
Vi and Vanessa... i think i met these two at the same time or around the same time.. for a while i didnt really notice Vi because she was "taken" by a douche of a guy and the one of the reasons i talked to her was because she spoke canto.. so for a while.... tho at that point i was interested in ariel too so didnt pay much attention to other girls haha... then later... after vanessa broke up with mike... we started hanging out a lot and doing stuff.. came to notice her a lot.. another naturally pretty girl.. rawr =3 then she met christian.. then it just plain died off lmao. vi... we got pretty close during one winter break.. i went over to her house a lot when her dad was out of town... ate dinner.. watched tv.. messed around... no details there. then since then had come to notice her... she always complains about her eyes not being big.. or her hair always like poofy but iunoe to me her eyes and hair looked great... it was long and like was naturally curvy when wet... HEY straight mind. dont think other things.. she just likes goin out or w/e before her hair drys =.= or apparently it takes forever for it to dry.
do do dodododo... whyy am i rambling about this ??? well i guess it is my rambling area and no one reads it anyway. HA ! >.>"
hmm one person whos not on this list is chau.. also one of those who i had never really noticed .. we known eachother for a few years but i never really noticed her much.. when i first saw her in 197.. or in 351 with ashley.. or in CKI... when she was with kevin... or with george... for some reason.. since after she broke up with george.. had come to notice her more... in a way shes one of those who didnt "Catch my eye" ... but in a way rather had caught my interest by her personality? iunoe... iunoe where im going with this...
im hungry again.. lol hmmm wonder what there is to eat downstairs...
lets seeeeeeee i ended on tuesday... so wednesday ! uh. last evolution lecture of the semester. home. study for practical. nap. study some more. practical. chau left before i did. we went to dinner @ wendy's noodle cafe. we ordered uhh pan fried rice cake with egg... pork with century egg congee... chinese donut... lol why is it called chinese donut.. yao jah gwai.. uhm.. oh shanghai dumplings too but it wasnt that good.. three village is better.. we got these two "milkshakes" more like slush.. hers had honeydew melon and tapioca.. i had grass jelly and tapioca... we ordered this uhm.. durian pancake crepe dessert thing... it was a thin sweet wrap around whipped cream and mashed durian.. decent. lol like the one i had in Sai Kung in Hong Kong in 06. we messed around outside.. then went home... had dinner #2 lol :|
thursday... uh. class.. then in genetics.. ariel moved to the back cuz we wanted to know what was on the test.. he didnt say much but for some friggin reason, he kept lookin back... we couldnt leave quick lol... she left maybe 20-25 minutes into class.. i left maybe 5 min after she did.. made a ninja escape.. but the loudest door bang LMAO oops.... met up with rachel at the library then we went lunch at jugoo again... OUR last time there :( awkward lunch... family style again but george went this time... wonder what was goin thru his mind... up until now, ive been avoiding goin to things like eating with him there... to avoid the awkwardness but i guess he... said he wanted go this time? cuz he asked julie.. then julie asked me if i was ok.. i was like.. if hes ok then im ok? but yah.. ate lunch.. class.. OH OH OH near end of class.. someones phone rang.. we thought Nika didnt hear it then a few seconds later hes like.. wait there was a phone ringing.. who was it.. gimme ! *walks over to other side of room like a hurricane* lmao looked at the phone and it said "Dr. Nika's Wife" LMAO !! ! ! ! ahahaha nice prank at the end.. but he knew it wasnt cuz apparently it showed a 702 number.. should have made a google voice and "Called" from texas.. xD then class at csn.. home.. study...
today.. uhm.. lunch with mentor and one of her clients.. didnt talk about me at all almost... maybe.. 2-3 minutes.. lol.. i decided to pay as a thank you for her being my mentor for 2 months.. she was like HUH WHY YOU PAY?!? =P she was a great mentor... i thank her from the bottom of my heart for helping me in a lot of ways... then had class.. then home...
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i want steak n eggs :( havent had it in a long time... i asked rachel last night but she didnt feel like eating steak n eggs and wanted to catch up on sleep.. of course being me.. i wouldnt get in the way of a girl getting her sleep.. dont want them lookin like a panda like me xD
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forgot who i was talkin to the other day... might have been vi... forgot what we were talkin about initially but got to a part where i was tellin her she was one of the prettiest girls i know.. along with vanessa.. dofu.. ariel.. rachel... if i had to rate them #1 to #5... hmm.. it would be... Ariel Dofu Rachel Vi Vanessa. i dont think ive ever really told any of the 5 except for Vi that night about my opinion on them..
Ariel - one of the or is the most pretty girl i know... beautiful eyes and smile... i still remember being at her debut when she turned 18... she was sooo pretty.. in her gorgeous green dress (her fav color).. if i had randomly walked in to the event, i would have thought this was a wedding, not a birthday lmao. that dress was reallly pretty... wonder if she still has that panda i got her.. and the bouquet i made her..
Dofu - i havent known her too long... yah we've talked online for quite a long time.. but we didnt actually see each other for the first time until her ... 22? birthday 2 years ago.. around that time i had already thought she was a cutie but when she came back in december... then january... oh my ... =3 that beautiful flowing hair.. that... doesnt need much if any fixing when she wakes up (so lucky) BIG ! eyes... pretttttyyy smile.. i still owe this one a tofu.. oh speaking of dofu.. the other day i was talkin to a friend in cali.. he said a line that omg... it was in chinese.. but it ended in dofu... he told me the meaning of it.. omfg... =.= totally not going to tell anyone about it ><
Rachel - i always knew she was pretty but never really paid much attention to her? cuz shes a few years older than me and was a previous member of CKI? before i joined so i didnt get to see her much except like big banquets or once in a while some event or meeting.. but lately... since this semester.. we've been talkin and hanging out a lot with eachother.. saw her more... DEFINITELY one of the prettiest girls i know =P dont use much make up either.. cute drunk too xD leaning tower of rachel ahahah and master of street fighter 4 button mashing =P
Vi and Vanessa... i think i met these two at the same time or around the same time.. for a while i didnt really notice Vi because she was "taken" by a douche of a guy and the one of the reasons i talked to her was because she spoke canto.. so for a while.... tho at that point i was interested in ariel too so didnt pay much attention to other girls haha... then later... after vanessa broke up with mike... we started hanging out a lot and doing stuff.. came to notice her a lot.. another naturally pretty girl.. rawr =3 then she met christian.. then it just plain died off lmao. vi... we got pretty close during one winter break.. i went over to her house a lot when her dad was out of town... ate dinner.. watched tv.. messed around... no details there. then since then had come to notice her... she always complains about her eyes not being big.. or her hair always like poofy but iunoe to me her eyes and hair looked great... it was long and like was naturally curvy when wet... HEY straight mind. dont think other things.. she just likes goin out or w/e before her hair drys =.= or apparently it takes forever for it to dry.
do do dodododo... whyy am i rambling about this ??? well i guess it is my rambling area and no one reads it anyway. HA ! >.>"
hmm one person whos not on this list is chau.. also one of those who i had never really noticed .. we known eachother for a few years but i never really noticed her much.. when i first saw her in 197.. or in 351 with ashley.. or in CKI... when she was with kevin... or with george... for some reason.. since after she broke up with george.. had come to notice her more... in a way shes one of those who didnt "Catch my eye" ... but in a way rather had caught my interest by her personality? iunoe... iunoe where im going with this...
im hungry again.. lol hmmm wonder what there is to eat downstairs...