so i had a few dreams last night.. but i only kind of remember 2.. 1 looked like something similar to DCON... but main part of the dream was i was helping ariel with her stuff .. seemed like she was leaving..? 2nd dream ... i have no idea where this took place... in a way looked like a convention lol.. but both chau and dofu was in it.. iunoe dont remember much details but dofu was like goin to different tables lookin at stuff.. then me and chau were just walkin slowly behind her.. lol looked like family from a standpoint where dofu was the kid xD but the only part that i remember which surprised me was when i did the usual uhm arm behind her back, this time, she did it back? o.O lol yup thinkin too much. x_x
hmm slept at 3.. woke up at 11.. approx 8 hrs of sleep still.. nice :D
Friday, July 22, 2011
so at boss' house today, was talkin about how leng is overdoing things for julie.. then when it got to part about him doing everything and getting nothing in back... victor looked at me and said it was the same to me... that in a way is kind of true.. i wouldnt say chau never gave me anything or did anything for me but in comparison, it would probably be for every 10-15 i do, she does 1. they said in a relationship, it should be equal.. not one puts more, or in this case, way more than the other.. =/
iunoe what to do anymore. i wanted to ask her out next week but iunoe if i want to anymore.. maybe i should just concentrate on finishing priorities first like the class, then GRE, then worry about other things.. =/ *sigh* iunoe..
a few days ago, horoscope said "don't allow a frustrating situation to zap your energy... thigns aren't as bad as they seem, though you may be giving way too much through to a certain situation. You are draining your emotional and mental resources, not to mention the fact that you are also depriving yourself of enjoyment. let go of a nagging problem by allowing it to recede into the background. Doesn't mean you shouldn't address it, but you don't have to make it your main focus either. When you step back a bit you will find the solution you need.."
bleh... lately i have taken notice... ive been thinkin of her way too much. boss mentioned one thing... if u are always around and "princessing" her, shes gonna be like "ew wth go away" but if u suddenly change or not be there as much, they are gonna notice you more because you are not always there... im thinkin if i should do that.. step back a bit... not have everything involve her... do my own thing.. dont haev to ask her everytime if they want this to eat that day because u are tehre or if they want to join you to do something... yah i know being together is important but to have your own friends and do ur own thing independently is probably important too.. dependent while being independent? or something
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on the side note... worked a little.. then watched avengers midnight showing today... during movie, dofu made me LOL in the theater during a scene where it wasn't funny at all... kind of embarrassing... thankfully i didnt laugh that loud... i did get hit by my friend tho cuz she was sitting next to me. lol oops xD
o well.. bed time =3
iunoe what to do anymore. i wanted to ask her out next week but iunoe if i want to anymore.. maybe i should just concentrate on finishing priorities first like the class, then GRE, then worry about other things.. =/ *sigh* iunoe..
a few days ago, horoscope said "don't allow a frustrating situation to zap your energy... thigns aren't as bad as they seem, though you may be giving way too much through to a certain situation. You are draining your emotional and mental resources, not to mention the fact that you are also depriving yourself of enjoyment. let go of a nagging problem by allowing it to recede into the background. Doesn't mean you shouldn't address it, but you don't have to make it your main focus either. When you step back a bit you will find the solution you need.."
bleh... lately i have taken notice... ive been thinkin of her way too much. boss mentioned one thing... if u are always around and "princessing" her, shes gonna be like "ew wth go away" but if u suddenly change or not be there as much, they are gonna notice you more because you are not always there... im thinkin if i should do that.. step back a bit... not have everything involve her... do my own thing.. dont haev to ask her everytime if they want this to eat that day because u are tehre or if they want to join you to do something... yah i know being together is important but to have your own friends and do ur own thing independently is probably important too.. dependent while being independent? or something
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on the side note... worked a little.. then watched avengers midnight showing today... during movie, dofu made me LOL in the theater during a scene where it wasn't funny at all... kind of embarrassing... thankfully i didnt laugh that loud... i did get hit by my friend tho cuz she was sitting next to me. lol oops xD
o well.. bed time =3
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
hm
not sure if i should be writing this here but i dont think she reads it anyway...
for some reason, lately, ive been considering to actually... maybe... try... to ask chau to be my gf... iunoe.. ive been rejected many times by many girls.. .very few successes.. been a while since ive had a success.. a few years while.. so quite hesistant to do it... another rejection shouldnt affect me that much right? but why do i have this extreme nervousness or like change in heart rate every time i think about asking chau?? x_X its not like im proposing to her right?? =| wish i could read her mind and have some info on how successful it would be... at this point, i dont even know if she has ever considered being with me or anything of the sort.. for the past... iunoe year or so... we've gotten quite a bit closer, talked a lot more than we've ever had before... in fact, other than dofu, shes the one person i talk to the most... (example by texting... she almost triples the 2nd most texted person...theres only 6 people over 1k texts.. 5 are girls.. chau is like a bit over 6k, the next girl is like 2. something ... =3)
wish someone could tell me or give me hints or something that it would go well.. to at least calm a bit of this nervousness :(
on the other note... shes feeling a lot better now... coughing much much less than like a week before.. surprised a bit that it actually took this long for her to get better... but doesnt help taht she didnt get much rest due to PCAT test coming up, getting closing then opening shifts..
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im sleepy. =3 lol
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should i worry about what would happen in the future if it was successful? or should that be just something that you should just face when it comes? :( im thinkin about this too much T_T someone help me
every time i think about this topic... or even open this ... post... my heart rate is already changing x_x is it an uneasiness feeling? or what is it?
for some reason, lately, ive been considering to actually... maybe... try... to ask chau to be my gf... iunoe.. ive been rejected many times by many girls.. .very few successes.. been a while since ive had a success.. a few years while.. so quite hesistant to do it... another rejection shouldnt affect me that much right? but why do i have this extreme nervousness or like change in heart rate every time i think about asking chau?? x_X its not like im proposing to her right?? =| wish i could read her mind and have some info on how successful it would be... at this point, i dont even know if she has ever considered being with me or anything of the sort.. for the past... iunoe year or so... we've gotten quite a bit closer, talked a lot more than we've ever had before... in fact, other than dofu, shes the one person i talk to the most... (example by texting... she almost triples the 2nd most texted person...theres only 6 people over 1k texts.. 5 are girls.. chau is like a bit over 6k, the next girl is like 2. something ... =3)
wish someone could tell me or give me hints or something that it would go well.. to at least calm a bit of this nervousness :(
on the other note... shes feeling a lot better now... coughing much much less than like a week before.. surprised a bit that it actually took this long for her to get better... but doesnt help taht she didnt get much rest due to PCAT test coming up, getting closing then opening shifts..
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im sleepy. =3 lol
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should i worry about what would happen in the future if it was successful? or should that be just something that you should just face when it comes? :( im thinkin about this too much T_T someone help me
every time i think about this topic... or even open this ... post... my heart rate is already changing x_x is it an uneasiness feeling? or what is it?
Friday, July 8, 2011
boing. i keep thinkin about u. its funny how everything i do to try not to think of you, somehow goes in a big circle, and ends back up at u. x_X somethings wrong with me :(
i have 11 days till GRE test in reno. :| not ready. :( theres so much vocab. math is kinda confusing... i hate how one part is like.. DONT ASSUME.. then another part is like ASSUME AND GUESS THIS AND THAT.. i was like omg how da hell do u know when to assume or not x_X *brain explodes*
i have 11 days till GRE test in reno. :| not ready. :( theres so much vocab. math is kinda confusing... i hate how one part is like.. DONT ASSUME.. then another part is like ASSUME AND GUESS THIS AND THAT.. i was like omg how da hell do u know when to assume or not x_X *brain explodes*
Saturday, June 25, 2011
hm. am i thinkin of her too much?
have been told that the whole husband n wife thing... and me calling her wifey kinda freaked her out?
did she lose trust in me because she had thought i went for doris because i couldnt have her as a gf?
i knew the husband n wife thing was temp cuz it was all a thing we decided to do due to our hunger for food... and wanted to go to brazilian... so we did the whole anniversary thing... and i guess it was kinda my fault to continue callin her that afterwards.. but eh...
yah i admit i had liked doris due to some similarities but i never had really went for it. always had joked about it a lot of whatever but i knew it wouldnt work. it was such a temp thing that i didnt think it would have affected that much?
=3 iunoe.. ive tried quite hard goin after chau but still hasnt seem to work out.. thought it would have been a little better after the so-called anniversary dinner but things seemed to have went downhill since then.. first the encounter with her grandmother... iunoe what made me so nervous that nothing had came out of my mouth... to the not translating the thing me and dofu had said on FB.... it went really downhill... iunoe if u are busy or its because i went out of town or whatever.. its like we had lost contact for like 2 weeks or so.. =[ i really wanted to tell u what we talked about but doing it would only make u feel bad and sad...
GAH IUNOE WHAT TO DOOOOOOOOOOOOOO T_T this entire trip, ive been tryin to find something for u but had no such luck in doing so.
should i give up? i know u dont want a relationship... u probably never had any feelings other than a friend towards me.. why am i still trying? =[ IUNOEEEE
have been told that the whole husband n wife thing... and me calling her wifey kinda freaked her out?
did she lose trust in me because she had thought i went for doris because i couldnt have her as a gf?
i knew the husband n wife thing was temp cuz it was all a thing we decided to do due to our hunger for food... and wanted to go to brazilian... so we did the whole anniversary thing... and i guess it was kinda my fault to continue callin her that afterwards.. but eh...
yah i admit i had liked doris due to some similarities but i never had really went for it. always had joked about it a lot of whatever but i knew it wouldnt work. it was such a temp thing that i didnt think it would have affected that much?
=3 iunoe.. ive tried quite hard goin after chau but still hasnt seem to work out.. thought it would have been a little better after the so-called anniversary dinner but things seemed to have went downhill since then.. first the encounter with her grandmother... iunoe what made me so nervous that nothing had came out of my mouth... to the not translating the thing me and dofu had said on FB.... it went really downhill... iunoe if u are busy or its because i went out of town or whatever.. its like we had lost contact for like 2 weeks or so.. =[ i really wanted to tell u what we talked about but doing it would only make u feel bad and sad...
GAH IUNOE WHAT TO DOOOOOOOOOOOOOO T_T this entire trip, ive been tryin to find something for u but had no such luck in doing so.
should i give up? i know u dont want a relationship... u probably never had any feelings other than a friend towards me.. why am i still trying? =[ IUNOEEEE
I miss her. Having a lot of dreams about her lately.. She hasn't been taking to me either.. Hope she's not mad at me for the other or for messing up in front of her grandma.. Things to have seemed to went down hill since then...
Wonder what she did last night.. She usually doesn't get to stay out that late..
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just read her recent blog... now makes me feel even worse =.= not many gets to meet her grandma... then when i did, i screw up :( i dont care if her grandma is mean or not really accepting or anything... i dont mind either way... but hey, as dofu said, its not like im her bf or anything... why am i thinkin about it so much? maybe feelings had grew more than i had expected :'[
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was super sad yesterday cuz of the funeral. i tried so hard to not cry.. didnt want my grandma to see me like this =3 so i had like a river forming the entire time.... D: that was hard to hold >< thankfully dofu was able to come out last night after work with toshimi. was a fun time. im not sure if they had a fun time but considering the fact of the earlier on the day, it was a definitely change of events for me... it really cheered me up.. i love seeing dofu xD never a sad moment with her =3 LOL finally was able to get her the tofu shes been waiting for me to get her for so long... and the crepe i promised her too xD so i guess it was a good night for her too? iunoe xD i kept falling asleep in the car while toshimi was driving cuz they kept talkin to each other and i was quite tired to begin with due to the continuous preparations the past few days... o well
Wonder what she did last night.. She usually doesn't get to stay out that late..
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just read her recent blog... now makes me feel even worse =.= not many gets to meet her grandma... then when i did, i screw up :( i dont care if her grandma is mean or not really accepting or anything... i dont mind either way... but hey, as dofu said, its not like im her bf or anything... why am i thinkin about it so much? maybe feelings had grew more than i had expected :'[
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was super sad yesterday cuz of the funeral. i tried so hard to not cry.. didnt want my grandma to see me like this =3 so i had like a river forming the entire time.... D: that was hard to hold >< thankfully dofu was able to come out last night after work with toshimi. was a fun time. im not sure if they had a fun time but considering the fact of the earlier on the day, it was a definitely change of events for me... it really cheered me up.. i love seeing dofu xD never a sad moment with her =3 LOL finally was able to get her the tofu shes been waiting for me to get her for so long... and the crepe i promised her too xD so i guess it was a good night for her too? iunoe xD i kept falling asleep in the car while toshimi was driving cuz they kept talkin to each other and i was quite tired to begin with due to the continuous preparations the past few days... o well